Young Adult Children Should Come With an Instruction Book for Parents

I am one of those people who don't see the age of 21 as the magical age where a person becomes an adult. I guess legally yes, as a matter of fact according to most state laws they are adults at age 18. Granted some young adults of this age are prepared to venture out into the big world and live alone, earn a living, pay their own bills and make adult decisions but there are some who are too easily swayed by others to make these adult moves.

I love and adore my adult children. One is 32 and the other is 22, both female and amazing people. My oldest daughter was raised by me as a single parent, a young single parent age 18, she has always been very independent, has a lot of common sense and a survival instinct. My youngest daughter was born with my current husband, she is spoiled, never wanted for anything and just does not have that surviror blood she never needed to acquire it. My parents' live nearby and we have a lot of other family here which was not the case when my oldest was growing up.

My youngest has been wanting to break free for a few years which is fine and encouraged. Last year was a bad year for my family we lost my mom, we lost my business and my youngest daughter had to go into drug treatment. While in treatment she met a boy, a 35 yr. old boy who was in by order of the court for alcoholism. On Halloween they moved in together in the small town HE grew-up in. He will not get a job, he does not want my daughter talking to me, he has threatened me, cussed me out and is just in general one of these small town boys who thinks their shit doesn't stink.

The other day my daughter told us that they were moving to Colorado next month. In the meantime hubby and I are paying her student loan bill, credit card bill, cell phone, car ins. and 2 medical bills while my father is making her car payment. This was all supposed to be temporary while she went through treatment and got back on her feet, 6 months later we are still footing the bill. Boyfriend does not work, I guess that he is too good to get an hourly job or it could be the numerous felony charges he has accumulated.

What would you do as a parent? Continue to pay your child's bills, try and sit down with the child to come up with a plan on when they will take the bills over again or just cut the money off? I have pros and cons for all of these and just don't know which way to go. I look forward to your suggestions.