The mom had called my daughter and told her that his problems were because of her. Now if this isn't a classic case of someone not being able to assume responsibility for their actions... I don't know what is. And because of this fact the doctor's had recommended that the two of them no longer see each other.
I thought this sounded a little off in left field so I called the hospital to hear it for myself and while I had the nurse on the phone I informed her of the mom's alcoholism, addiction to gambling and pedopholia (when she was a school teacher, and married, in Nebraska she slept with one of her students. She later married him and he is now the step-father). She was not charged but did lose her teaching license. I also informed her of other facts that I am aware of after spending so much time with this young man.
As expected, the MD did not say that the kids needed to part ways, actually my daughter is one of the positive influences in his life as is my family and he encouraged interaction with us.
Of course the mom heard about my phone call and called me wanting to know why I butted in. I informed her that I did not feel that she would provide the doctor's with all of the information they would need and I did not think that they had said what she claimed. All in all I think that we had a good and productive conversation ... at the time, but I now think the woman has bad issues.
He was released from the hospital on Tuesday and was allowed to come over to my house and spend 2 hours with my daughter. When my daughter took him home after the two hour visit, mom and step-dad were at the bar. Later that night he later called us in tears and said that he was really depressed being at home. I offered some coping skills and told him that we would come get him the next day and we would talk to mom about him staying with us. But she has not let him talk to my daughter or see her since then.
They are supposed to be getting family counseling but the mother told me that she could not afford it so they were not going to follow through with it. I am heart-broken and very worried.
Do I call his father? Do I call child protective services? Do I leave it alone? There are 3 other children in the home ages 7 - 14.
This is one of the major flaws with the foster care system. You take the child(ren) out of the broken home, give them counseling, fix them, heal their wounds and then send them back into the broken and messed up home. Then everyone is surprised when a child turns up dead or severely beaten. It is our job as "the village" to do all that we can do when we know that a bad situation is going on that involves a child.
I think that the mom has no power over her own life but she can exert some power over her son and that is exactly what she is doing. But we all have our breaking points. Mom has taken away his support system, my daughter and my family.... so how quickly will he reach that breaking point and how bad will it be.
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