Happy Birthday to Me!!

Yesterday was my 47th birthday.

I love having birthdays. I love having a day where I am honored just for being brought into this world. I don't mean to imply that my family isn't good to me all the time but your birthday is ... your day.

Complete strangers send you email birthday cards. Pepsi sent me one and I don't even like Pepsi. I had about 25 birthday email cards yesterday from websites I have visited. But hey, it's my day and the world knows it.

I get phone calls from family member's (my in-laws) that I don't hear from any other time of the year unless I call them.

We always take the family out to dinner, last night we ordered Oklahoma Joes B-B-Q (yummy) and had everyone over. Of course we had cake afterwards. My daughter's work and school schedules were too crazy to go out to eat but this worked well.

And gifts, my youngest daughter bought me a beautiful bouquet of tulips and my oldest got me a brick of bees wax (for my crafts) and the neatest journal.... it has questions about my childhood and growing up years that I am to respond to and then give her the journal back. She said that she gave one to her dad and my mother. Neither of whom have returned theirs. Her dad passed away 3 years ago from ALS and his little wifey-poo returned the journal still in the plastic wrap to her. I have already started working on mine.

I have never had any "traumatic" age crisis birthdays. To me age is a state of mind. I have been on this earth for 47 years but I certainly don't feel as if I am closing in on a half century of age. What does age feel like anyway?

I have barbie knees, when I get down on the floor and then stand up my knees sound like when you bend the knees on a barbie doll. I do have some aches and pains. Menopause has set in. BUT, I cannot get pregnant, my kids are out of diapers and can feed themselves (18 & 28), I am happy with what I do for a living, I adore my husband and he feels the same about me even after 20 years. I still look pretty good even though I am a bit more Rubenesque, I have always taken care of my skin (soap has rarely touched my face, I make my own cleanser and cream) so I don't have any horrible lines and wrinkles.

Women get too bogged down with age. I wear my few character lines proudly, I have earned them. No botox or plastic surgery for me thank you. I actually think that an almost 50 year old woman who artificially looks like a 20 year old looks rather ridiculous. In my humble opinion if you are not proud of your age and wear it like a badge of honor then you have a huge self-esteem issue and your age is the least of your problems.

Be healthy, be happy and raise great children.

George Bush and His War.... What a Fool You Elected, Again

I am a Texan and lived under this man's rule once. I knew better than to vote for him as leader of an entire nation. But you elected him anyway. You elected him because he is pro-life yet he has murdered more people than all the abortion doctor's in the U.S. , and they are just siphoning off unliving tissue. Bush is directly involved in the murder of live human beings. This is not very "pro-life." How many children has he killed in Iraq? How many children has he taken a parent away from?

You elect anyone based on such a narrow view of things and this is what you get, besides incompetence.

Then the opportunity to go to war fell into his lap and he ran with it. He used lies, fear and anything else that he could pull out of his cowboy hat to convince a wounded America that war against Iraq was the answer. I tend to think that his dad is still pulling the strings but this is only my opinion, and since his chance at Iraq failed he took this opportunity.

Now George Bush, very insincerely, admits that all is not going as planned so he is going to send in MORE troops to make more of a mess of the horror he has created. He is also trying to divert our attention by going into Somalia. Yet the man responsible for 9/11 is just skipping around without a care in the world.

We as the voting public made our voices heard in the last election and his smugness cannot bear it so he is acting the bully and attacking anyone and anything that will hold still. Do I feel safer with Saddam dead.... um.... NO. Would I feel safer with Bin Laden dead or captured, you bet your ass. Do I feel safe now that we are attacking Somalia... I think that it is a diversion tactic by his dumbness. He will do what he wants to do despite what Congress, the American people and his cabinet (Condi doesn't count she is a suck up) wants done.

I think that it is time to look at impeachment, the man is out of control and is becoming as dangerous to the world as he says they are to us.

With Bush's new enlightenment that he screwed up and is going to send more American kids to be slaughtered... my step-daughter will now be sent to Iraq. She is not prepared for this mentally or physically, thank you U.S. military. Why don't the spend some of their TV advertising money and buy our military the safety equipment that they need.

I want to go on record that if something happens to her I hold George W. Bush responsible. He already goes to bed at night with the blood of thousands of American citizens on his slimy little hands. I'm sure that he sleeps well as you have to have a brain to feel emotion.

I am furious, she has been in limbo for over a year. I just knew that someone with some sense would bring a halt to this before she was sent over there. It is my contention that if the U.S. pulls out, the "insurgents" would not feel the need to defend their property, the police force could gain control because they would bring in the old army, the government would work itself out... in their way... not the American way.

Someone has got to rein in the loose cannon in Washington. There is no winner or loser in this atrocity just a lot more dead people.

My Stop Smoking Progress

Well, I have to be honest, I am not doing so great on this venture. On my target date I ended up getting a cold/flu/bronchitis and was in bed for a week. Even though I could not smoke because I was coughing up a lung anyway, the urge was still there. The nicotine gum tasted like shit and the patch was making me feel worse than I already did. So I decided to push my start date back to when I am well again and start over.

I am not smoking as much as I did but I think it is because I feel so wretched. But cutting down is a good thing. I am not beating myself up over this either. Guilt gets you nowhere, I have not failed I have just hit a bump in the road.

The past two days I have started to feel a bit better, at least I have been able to get up and move around some without feeling like I am going to end up in a heap on the floor. I have also been able to socialize with my family. I sequestered myself to the extra bedroom so as not to share my germs with the whole house, my only company was the dogs and the occasional someone poking their head in the door to make sure I was still alive.

Hopefully by next week my taste buds will be functioning again, the snot will have gone away and this severe cough will have diminished. Then I will give it another go.

Boy am I glad I got my flu shot this year.

Stay healthy.

I am going to quit smoking... Jump Aboard

I decided the other day that I am going to quit smoking on Jan. 1, 2007. I am pretty nervous about this decision too.

Only once before have I attempted to give up cigarettes and that was several years ago. I had my Wellbutrin (to kill the craving and save my sanity) and some little faux cigarette looking things to help the hand to mouth fixation. I was set. My mind was made up.

All went well for the first 3 weeks and then the holiday season crept up on me. You can read my previous posts for my thoughts on the holidays. The stress began piling up and I was around my mom who smokes like a chimney. She was not supportive of my decision. She may have been supportive but she did not offer encouragement nor did anyone else in my family.

I am not one for pats on the back and lots of "way to go" bs. I do what I do because I enjoy doing it and I also try to make a difference each day that I am on this earth, not for back pats. But giving up a 30 year habit deserves a "thata girl" everyonce in a while. I failed anyway. It didn't take and the pills made me bonkers.

This time I am not using pharmaceuticals I will get some nicotine gum and cross my fingers. I will not count on encouragement from my family (not even my husband who has bitched for 20 years about my smoking). I am doing this for me, I will get selfish about the whole ordeal.

This is for me, I want this. I will take my weekly cigarette money and stash it away for a nice trip. I know it will not be easy and I am prepared for that but I have to do it and I can do it.

Holidays Suck....

I have had it with the holiday season. Next year I am going on strike and I am leaving town with or without my kids and grandbaby.

As I stated in an earlier post, I have had problems with the holidays for a few years. I just can't get into the holiday spirit due to the stress the holidays reign down upon my little shoulder's. I volunteer year-round so the "spirit of giving" is nothing new to me. I work with those in need on a day to day basis. The impoverished have needs all year not just for 1 month out of the year.

Now due to all of the stress and strain of the holidays I am sick. I have a horrible head and chest cold that has put me in bed for 3 long days. The stress wears down the body, a germ crosses your path and WHAM... it gets you.

So instead of relishing the fact that I have survived another holiday season with my sanity. I am laid up in bed reliving each moment.

We did change things up a bit this year and rented a nice hotel room on the Plaza.. as in the Kansas City Plaza. If you aren't familiar with the Plaza, it was the first open aired shopping center in the U.S. built in the 1930's in a Spanish style with loads of architectural detail and numerous water fountains. It is wonderful down there during the holidays with the buildings lit up, carriage rides, beautiful shop windows and great shopping. This is where we have some of the more exclusive shops, Armani, Tivol, Tiffany, Williams Sonoma, BCBG and many more.

When I got to the hotel they did not give us the correct room with enough beds in it. Yes they did move us but when your reservation is for 4 adults and 2 kids common sense dictates that you need more than 1 king sized bed and a single fold out sofa bed.

My oldest daughter's car broke down on the way to the hotel and delayed their arrival 2 hours, plus stressed out my daughter.

We also treated the family to what was to be a very nice dinner in a posh restaurant. The posh and wealthy are as loud as Arrowhead Stadium when the Chiefs have the ball. It was so damn noisy in the former Bristol that we could not even carry on a conversation at our table. The service was crappy too. I noticed that several tables around us were getting excellent service but it also appeared that they knew someone that worked there or were regular's. We sat without a glass of water, a speck of bread or our $40 bottle of wine for 25 minutes after we placed our order. I was ready to get up and walk. I complained to the server but he couldn't hear me..... It was hot, stuffy and obnoxious. This is one place I will never darken the door of again. This is probably where we all got sick from. Both of my daughter's have colds too.

Then you throw an alcoholic parent in on top of this, shake well and you have my Christmas Eve. It rolled over into Christmas day to the point that I was ready to throw myself out the window of the hotel.

I was then looking forward to my husband and I spending some quality time together, as he has this week off. I am so germy he won't come near me.

Next year I will close the shop a week before Christmas and I am going to the beach. I love the sound of the waves. Everyone is game except the drinker but I think that majority rules.

Merry Christmas To All

I just want to wish you all a happy holiday season, whatever it is that you celebrate may it be the best, the healthiest and happiest ever.

From my family to yours.....

Happy Holidays and All That Stuff

I have been a real scrooge the past few years, I don't know why and I have quit worrying about it. I do believe it is the stress that the holidays bring.

So... this year I decided to give. I was going to withdraw some money and hand out $50 bills to folks I felt could use it. I don't have the money to give, we have a pile of bills to pay and barely make it from month to month but I thought this might help ME. But the little voice kicked in and started saying things like "they will use the money for drugs," " you will be enabling," etc. Therefore, for the moment that option is out.

Hey, I will buy a Christmas tree and decorations for 5 different families. I called the local Social Services with the idea with the criteria that the family, preferably a single parent family, must be working. No can do, you can't be that specific and it would be too time consuming for "them" to find me ONLY 5 families. So much for that idea.

So I turn to eBay, I will buy something from a non-profit organization. I am not a fan of the Red Cross or United Way, they siphon off way too much money for staff and admin costs (United Way 17+%) and the upper management makes in the 6 digits. I find some items for auction by a group helping Hurricane Katrina "Victims".

I go to their website to learn about them and they have a nice site, but some of the info like homes for rent... in New York City, jobs available in Ohio, seemed odd. I thought they wanted to rebuild New Orleans, by the way they are only working with New Orleans folks.

Then I start reading the news articles on their website pertaining to the hurricane. In the article one of New Orleans officials was quoted as saying "... this is the first time in American history that a whole town has been destroyed." That stopped me in my tracks. 1) the whole town was not destroyed and 2) most of the f**** death and destruction was preventable.

I am from that area and I recall discussion back in the 1970s on the failure of the levee. This is just when I began paying attention to that kind of stuff, I am sure they were talking about it way before that, like when the sucker was built and officials pocketed $$$ instead of doing the best job possible. Common sense tells you that when you are at sea level things shift and change and without proper maintenance and vigilance you get the levee that broke during hurricane Katrina. DUH.

Back to #1, I started looking for other American town disasters.....

Jacksonville, Florida: "By 1900 the city had a population approaching 30,000 people. The new century dawned with the Great Fire of 1901 when embers from a stove ignited materials at the Cleveland Fiber Factory. Before it was extinguished, the fire had destroyed nearly 2,400 buildings, decimated 146 city blocks, killed 7 people, left 10,000 people homeless, and destroyed $15 million worth of property. Fortunately, the city was once again quickly rebuilt and the population grew to more than 91,000 people by 1920." http://www.city-data.com/us-cities/The-South/Jacksonville-History.html


1888
March 11–14, East Coast: the “Blizzard of 1888.” 400 people died; accumulation of up to 5 ft of snow. Damage estimated at $20 million. (The town wasn't destroyed but this is pretty horrible considering the time period, resources and availability to warmth.)

1889
May 31, Johnstown, Pa.: collapse of South Fork Dam left more than 2,200 dead.

How about the drought in the mid-1930s. The "great dust bowl" covered 50 million acres in the south-central plains during the winter of 1935–1936. I have not seen any number on how many died and the number of towns destroyed and abandoned but I imagine it is well into the thousands.

Hurricane - 1900 Sept. 8, Galveston, Tex.: an estimated 6,000–8,000 dead, mostly from devastation due to tidal surge.

1906 April 18, San Francisco: earthquake accompanied by fire razed more than 4 sq mi; estimates range from 700 to 3,000 dead or missing. For more, see The Great 1906 San Francisco Earthquake.

I live in tornado alley and there have been some horrendous tornado's that have destroyed towns. An interesting note by looking at the information on this website ... I noticed that for the most part the lose of life decreases as FOLKS LISTEN TO THE WARNINGS BEING GIVEN. We get about a 5 minute warning to get into the basement, if you have a basement. You bet your butt I am in mine and have my supply closet stocked at all times.

1840 May 7: Natchez, MS. A tornado ravaged the heart of the city, killing 317 and injuring over 1,000. The northern and central portions of the city were destroyed. 269 people perished on riverboats on the Mississippi River.

1908 April 24: Purvis, MS. The majority of the town of Purvis, MS. was leveled as a tornado moved from Amite, LA into Purvis. 55 people died as a result of this tornado in Purvis alone. People reported that the tornado was “2 miles wide” at times.

1925 March 18: Ellington, MO. to Princeton, IN. The “Tri-State Tornado” is the most deadly single tornado in history. Murphysboro, Illinois was the hardest hit by the tornado, where 234 lives were claimed. Several cities in the tornado’s path were obliterated, including: Annapolis, MO; Gorham, IL; Parrish, IL; and Griffin, IN.

1936 April 6: Gainesville, GA. A pair of tornadoes converged inside the city on the morning of April 6th, 1936. 203 people were killed and most of the city’s buildings lay in ruins. Damage estimates from the tornado were around $12.5 million.

1947 April 9: Woodward, OK. An F5 tornado moved through the northern portions of Woodward, OK. Over 100 city blocks were demolished from the tornado and over 1,000 homes were damaged or destroyed. 107 people were killed, 1,000 people were injured, and over $6 million in damage occurred.

1953 May 11: Waco, TX. 114 people died when an F5 tornado moved through downtown Waco, TX. A six-story brick furniture store was destroyed. The main street was filled with bricks from the building, in some instances nearly five feet deep. Some people were buried under brick for nearly 14 hours.

1979 April 10: Wichita Falls, TX. $400 million in damage occurred when an F4 tornado moved through Wichita Falls. Nearly 3,100 homes were destroyed and about 20,000 people were left homeless. 42 people were killed and 1,740 were injured.

1984 June 8: Barneveld, WI. An F5 tornado struck around 1 a.m. in the small community of Barneveld, WI. Nine people were killed, 197 were injured, and 90% of the community was destroyed. Over $40 million in damage was caused from this tornado.

2002 November 10: Van Wert, OH. An F4 tornado moved through Van Wert, Ohio around 3:30 PM local time, destroying the entire northwest corner of the city. This tornado was part of one of the largest November tornado outbreaks in history, with 70 tornadoes occurring within two days. Total damages from the outbreak totaled $490 million.

This was/is to date the most devastating to America and Iraq -
2001 Sept. 11, New York City, Arlington, Va., and Shanksville, Pa.: hijackers crashed 2 commercial jets into twin towers of World Trade Center; 2 more hijacked jets were crashed into the Pentagon and a field in rural Pa. Total dead numbered 2,992, including the 19 hijackers. Islamic al-Qaeda terrorist group blamed.

My conclusion is, I am a scrooge and I guess I will remain that way until whatever happens, happens, to turn me around. In the mean time I think that New Orleans needs to flush the pity pot and clean up the mess. The other devastated areas seem to be doing okay.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Jolly Kwanzaa and a Most Joyous Whatever You Celebrate

Baby It's Cold in Kansas

I knew I should have gone to the grocery store today. The news just said that we are in for 10" -20" of snow. That is a lot of snow for those of us here in Kansas! I think that is a lot of snow no matter where you hang your mittens.

I'm sure that we will be okay ... because every household in the county is at the grocery at a quarter of eleven at night.

I have to find my furry snow boots. I love the snow. I work from home so I can say that. I always have the first snowperson on the block, I get out and romp with the dogs in the snow. This will be my puppy's first snow.

I will take photos to share.

I wonder if they will cancel school?

Thieves Are the Scum of the Earth

Tonight some punk ass, stupid idiots broke into my daughter's car. We live in the Suburbs of Kansas City, this is not a bad part of town by any means. For those of you familiar with this area, she was at the AMC Bowling Alley aka King Louies on Metcalf in Overland Park, Kansas.

This occured between the hours of 7:30 pm and 9:00 pm. Metcalf is a very heavily traveled street and by the looks of things these worthless little punk twerps were on the scene for quite sometime doing their thing.

They carefully went through the CD's in her visor and glove box to pick the ones they wanted, they placed others in different CD holders. They took a CD holder of 400 CDs. They took her amp and sub from the trunk of her car but they did not rip these out, they took their time and gently pulled both of these pieces from their plugs. The kicker is.... they stole her entire cosmetology school kit, all of the hot irons, hair dryers, $200 scissors, products, I don't know what all. The stupid fools probably did not know what was in the black suitcase so they took it. All totaled we are talking in excess of $6000 in goods stolen from her car. This does not include the damage done to the vehicle so that they could gain entry.

I hate nobody, I don't even like to use that word. I don't hate the man I lived with and who beat me daily for 4 years. I don't hate my ex-husband (I feel sorry for him). But I hate thieves and liars. If you have to stoop so slow as to steal from another person or place of business, then you need to rethink your life choices, the same goes for lies. If you can't be honest with others, you have no place in my world.

So now we have these punks who have commited felony thief, they will probably get away with it as far as the law goes. They will give their sleezy girlfriends all of the cosmetology items and they will either keep the stereo equipment and music CDs or sell them. I do have serial numbers on the stereo items but if they sell them to a friend or on ebay (who doesn't require serial numbers to post easily stolen items or proof of ownership), we are just SOL. We will be out time and more money because of some little chicken shit punks who are too lazy to get a job, or too strung out on drugs to be productive member's of this society. As is often the case in this area, these are over privileged, bored teens with 2 parent's working 16 hour days (orphaned by over worked parent's) who will toss the cosmetology items and give the other stuff to their friends.

I have put the word out to various kids in quite a few high schools in the area about this, just in case they hear anything. I just don't have much faith that law enforcement will put any effort into this after a previous and much more serious experience we had with them.

I think that if they are caught, and since the law will not chop off one finger for every $1,000 in loss, we should ship these punks off to Iraq and let them play with the big boys.

WAY TO GO AMERICA

For the first time since Sept. 11, I feel safe.

It was just announced that Donald Rumsfeld is "cutting and running." As I type this "the idiot puppet" is speaking on the radio. He is "going to protect me", he has run my family into the poor house, he has seen to it that many young American's have been murdered in the name of war.

The "idiot puppet" is making a good choice in picking a Aggie to serve in Rummy's place. Listening to him speak on the radio he is pissed off, you can hear it in his tone of voice, he is mad. In essence the American People are idiots and don't know what we want or what we are doing. I felt that way when he was elected, no I did not vote for him either time. I am a Native Texan and lived under his rule once, I knew better.

On a different note:

Missouri passed the Constitutional amendment allowing Stem Cell Research - http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/news/local/15954317.htm
Lives can be saved with stem cells and hopefully with more research.... more lives can be saved. There are a myriad of illnesses that benefit from stem cell therapy/ My ex-husband passed away 3 years ago at the age of 46 from ALS, this is one illness that can benefit from stem cell therapy and who knows, with further research possibly cured.

Everyone hollers about cloning, in the name of God of course. What are you doing when you fertilize a baby in a Petri dish? Or use other artificial means of impregnating oneself? Aren't you cloning yourself since God obviously does not want you to reproduce in a natural way? And all of those extra eggs that are tossed in the trash, couldn't they atleast be recycled for use in stem cell research? You aren't going to use them. Is that considered abortion when you toss the extra fertilized eggs? I know a "good Christian" lady who went through the artificial impregnation ordeal and found that she was going to have 5 children, she and her husband then "deleted" (she really used that word) 3 of them. She was very much "pro-life" but this didn't count. I guess it fell into that Bible small print or selective Bible reading section that the religious right is so fond of.

Before you get your panties in a bunch and write weird comments, the above a very simplified and stupid way to state the issue. But I just don't understand why a group of people who are supposed to be filled with love and concern for mankind would raise such a fuss about something, stem cell research, that could prolong the life of another human being. I am not thrilled about cloning and those that are going to use it in a Hitler like manner are already doing so, therefore this is not much of a concern.

Kansas elected Paul Morrison as Attorney General and ousted Phil Kline. On this I have mixed emotions. I did not like Phil Kline but I am currently not sure that Morrison can do the job either. Ego seems to be an issue with him and a big one at that. At one time I felt that he was a fair and just man but my opinion on that has changed a great deal in the past months. I also have some concerns over who will replace him as the Johnson County District Attorney.... rumor has it that it could be Kline.

It is not a perfect world and politics is one of the most imperfect. You get someone in office that has less than a sincere ability to work for the people and you are in deep dodo. But I think that all in all, we needed a change and America spoke up and made that change. Way to go!!!

Bad, Bad Heather Mills

It takes a lot of balls to accuse a world icon of abuse. No, I don't know Paul McCartney personally... I wish we were good buds. I would call him up and say;

Me: Hi Paul my friend. How are you?
PM: Good. It is so amazing to hear from you. It has been so long! Have you heard about all of the shit that crazy one legged woman is saying about me?
Me: You know the American newspapers, I have read bits and pieces but I have also read some of the London rags to get the "real scoop." In other words... that's why I'm phoning, I want to know what is going on across the pond.
PM: She just sees me as a human bank. I don't think that she loved me to begin with. No one else would have her, I was still reeling from the death of my lifes love Linda and fell into the black widow's web.
Me: Your children told you she was no good and to stay away from her.
PM: I know, I know. But I was lonely.
Me: Heather wanted a baby and a bank account and she saw both in you. I also think that she heard about Anna Nicole and figured that was a pretty sweet deal... not that you are quite as old as ole Mr. Whatshisname.
PM: I am the "fool on the hill" ... jokes on me.
Me: Paul, you know that I was in 2 very abusive relationships and you do not have the characteristics of an abuser. Also, Linda never said anything about you popping her upside the head, or pushing her into a bathtub when she was pregnant... oh and I love the knife in the belly. You don't become an abuser when you are well into your 60s when you weren't one in the 1960s.
PM: You and I know the truth but do you think that the rest of the world and my fans believe what the peg leg is saying?
Me: I don't think that anyone believes that Sir Paul would lift a finger to a woman, don't you worry your pretty little head. Her true colors are coming out as are her original intentions. You are loved and adored by millions of people and she is detested by millions.
PM: I don't want hate and anger to come out of this just Love Love Love only not with her.
Me: I know, and it will all turn out okay. It would be nice if the court would give her child support only. I think that this is all she has coming to her. You are a good and decent man. I gotta run, work is waiting. I don't have some wonderful man I can tell lot's of lies about and screw over for millions of pounds or dollars. Hugs and kisses to all.
PM: Thank you for calling. Come to visit anytime, we miss you. TaTa.

The Slippery Slope of Sloppiness

I posted the below on the crazy hip blog mamas blog. They had a question asking when you thought you were dressed nicely and later found that you had totally blown it.

This is what I wrote:

I used to dress to go to the bathroom, I had to look GGGOOOOOOODDDD no matter what. But oh how times have changed.

I work from home, I have a teenager that drives and the only "people" that see me during the day are my two dogs. He That Rocks My World doesn't get home until 5:00pm, so at 4:30 I slap on something that matches, spritz with lavender spray and a dab of lipstick.

I didn't realize how frumpy I had become (I'm 46) until I had to run some errands one morning, I don't do mornings. And while walking by a very large reflective window I caught a glimpse of myself. HORRORS, I had on my warm, wooly footies, mismatched, grey sweats with a hole in the crotch that was visible and had paint all over them. And a lime green sweatshirt with 3 big stains of some sort down the front. I still had on my grey felt houseshoes. It's not over yet, I have naturally curly hair that I am growing out to go with my 50 lbs weight loss... and I looked like Napoleon Dynomite crossed with Don King.

I am not easily embarrassed but this sent me running back to my car, I had that AHA moment where I realized I had gone down the slippery slope of sloppiness/motherhood/work at homeitis.

I came home and tossed everything with stains, holes, (not my favorite jeans) seasonal sweatshirts with cute faces, mismatched fuzzy warm footsies and socks. Now I am basically without clothes..... I refuse to purchase new clothes until I am down another 10 lbs, size 16. Pre-menopause and chocolate cravings aren't helping much.

Whew... that was close.

You can see more comments on this post here

The Joys of Pre-Menopause.... The Devil Within

This post is not for the faint of heart.

I will reveal a secret... I am 46 years young and 3 months ago I went stark raving mad.

It has been a painful process as it involves an ovarian cyst and raging hormones. Almost 19 years ago they took out 1 ovary due to a cyst. I functioned normally with only one ovary, I even became pregnant 6 month post-0p... while taking birth control pills. My youngest daughter is a high school graduate and is currently attending Cosmetology school.

It was a shock to get pregnant with that kind of odds against it, and the fact that we had not planned on having more wee ones, but we adapted, loved our little surprise (my other daughter is 11 years older) and life went on.

Then, in 1995ish I had a hysterectomy, they took my uterus but left the one little ovary "due to my age" I guess I was considered too young to not have any parts that would give me problems later in life.

Then one night about 3 months ago I was rudely awoken with a horrible pain in my side. The pain persisted and radiated down to my knee. It became worse and finally after 2 weeks (I don't rush into things) I went to the doctor. The Dx, an ovarian cyst "but it should resolve itself in about a month." The pain continued and I got very cranky, weepy, my boobs ache, my hair is falling out, I growl at people and things ( I didn't know that I could growl), I can't sleep at night, my hot flashes have become worse and now I have night sweats too, I can't remember anything either, I am also very tired during the day.

I attempt to go back to the doctor but my doctor of 15 years has had a death in the family and will be gone for a month and the Dr. I end up seeing doesn't want to do anything, like order lab work, because she isn't my usual treating physician. She says that my hormones are out of whack. NO S#**! I scream. I want to know why all of a sudden they went wonky. Well, it is the cyst on my ovary. Either it has caused the hormone inbalance to occur or the hormone inbalance caused the cyst. But I am pretty much SOL until my doctor returns in a month.

Then the stupidity really kicks in ... I get on the Internet and start talking to friends. I refuse to take synthetic hormones and die of a heart attack or stroke. So with all of the information I gathered from the above sources I am currently on 10 different vitamins, herbs and supplements plus a progesterone cream.

Good ole doc that I have seen for 15 years returns... I see her. She concurs with the Dr. I saw a month prior... hormone inbalance, that damned old cyst. So we draw some blood to see what the hormones are doing. I wait another week. At this point 3 months have passed. I am now having migraine headaches and only sleeping about 3 hours a night. I live on chocolate and carbs. Plus I have gained 8 lbs in 3 months. I am not a happy camper.

A week later, I get the phone call, they are worried about my glucose level, it is 99 (non-fasting) the normal range is 70-99. Of course I am talking to a "phone nurse" who cops and attitude when I insist on talking about hormone levels and she won't get off the glucose. I told her that I had 3 Pop Tarts for breakfast when I usually eat Cherrios. So as concerned as they may be about the glucose I will deal with that after the hormones get in check. I got so pissed off at my doctor of 15 years for turning this little twit loose on me that I finally used a very inappropriate explicative and hung up the phone.

Finally I had a lucid moment and before the thought had a chance to escape my brain, I took action. I called my Ob/GYn that I had seen for 10 yrs. he delivered my grandaughter as well. His wife and I are good friends. I quit seeing him about 6 years ago just because it was easier to see one doctor for everything. I called and talked to her, his wife, and explained what is going on. She put good ole Dr. F. on the phone and I think we have a plan.... the ovary will go. If I keep it, there is a very good chance that I will continue to get these cysts that will throw my hormones into the ozone. I have a history of these cysts anyway and as "we get older" the problems become worse. Then, if my hormones are still really out there he will have natural hormones formulated for me and throw in a few herbs and supplements.... but not the 10 that I am currently taking.

I am sssssooooo looking forward to a resolution to this matter. I have endured many things in my life but this really sucks. I have been robbed of 3 months of my life because of my body.

It is truly amazing how hormones and the adrenal gland can affect all parts of your mind and body when they are not functioning properly. It is equally amazing how many "reputable websites run by Doctor's" are out there to take advantage of women in this situation. I found one that charges $93 "payable in 3 monthly installments" for progesterone cream and supplements. After that you only pay for the price of the cream and supplements but they don't tell you how much those are. Oh, and you get a newsletter filled with stories from othe women. I purchase all of my vitamins from Puritanspride.com, they often have a buy 1 get 1 free and for my whole family I don't spend $100 a year.

I relish my aging process, I have earned every wrinkle on my face and grey hair, strike that auburn hair. I exercise, eat right (the past 3 months don't count), take care of my spirit and mind. And I encourage you to do the same. Aging is not to be feared, it is a state of mind but when your state of mind has been altered just make sure that your loved ones understand what is going on.... it too will pass.


FYI:

I dress in layers so that I can strip off clothes when the dreaded hot flashes hit me. Now, if you see a woman in a store pulling off sweaters and stripping down to a T-Shirt ... don't gawk and pull your children away. She isn't going to strip down to nothing, as much as she would love to, she will stop at the jeans and T-Shirt. Because in 15 minutes the clothes will go back on, as soon as the hot flash ends.

Compiling a Book of Blog Sites - Let me know if you want your site listed

I am compiling a book of blog sites. It is in the final stages of being written and I have loads of sites but I want more.... I always want more.

If you would like to have your Blog considered for publication in this .... publication please email me or leave a comment and I will check out your Blog.

Current Categories Are:
Funny
Politics
Sad
Inner Beauty
Informative
Internet Related
Computer Related
War / Veterans (I might have to break this down into the different wars if I get enough for each
Music
Art
Poetry
Recipes
Medical
Decorating
Antiques and Collectibles
Hobbies
Gaming
Sports
Family Blogs - they must be great
Lifestyles
... Open to suggestions ....

Please be sure to give me a way to contact you and please don't submit a site that will not be maintained and will be offline in 6 months.

Thanks for your help on this.

What Is Up With Driver’s On The Road???

What Is Up With Driver’s On The Road???

I have driven in Countries renown for their terrible driver’s such as Mexico City and Southeast Asia. I was a passenger in a vehicle in Italy which was pretty scary, but these idiots here in the Kansas City, Kansas area are closing in quickly on the bad driving habits of our friends in these other Countries.

You have the “line huggers’ they are the ones who, for whatever reason, are hugging the line on the road. They are in their own lane but almost into the next lane due to their line hugging. Most of these folks have a phone tucked up under their ear, which throws them off to the side. FOOLS. Then there are the “zig-zaggers” they are just all over the place. They want to be the first in line at the red light so they will zig and zag through traffic just to be the first one stopped at the light. WHY!?!?! Ego is my diagnosis on this symptom of the road.

Oh I love the road rager’s. If you pass them because the are acting the fool and you feel more comfortable far away from them and pass them at the first opportunity. They go bonkers. Then they start tailgating and really showing their intelligence. The “impatient waiter” can’t sit through a full red light or wait for the stream of traffic to pass before he/she pulls out onto the street. They will run the light when there is a small break in traffic and in the case of a stop sign with traffic passing by they will just flat ass pull out in front of everyone. I see this one daily from my backyard.

I have also noticed that it is usually mom’s with children in the car, people driving earth killing SUV’s and very expensive car owners that pull this kind of stupid act.

I have had about 15 years to study this phenomenon up close and personal. I live in Lenexa, Kansas on Pflumm Road. I live in the old part of Lenexa, an area of town that our city officials (tongue in cheek) wish would just go away. Frankly, they hope that the Catholic Church and retirement home will eventually absorb this entire area. Pflumm Road is an arterial road but it is also a very residential street with homes facing the street, children playing in their yards and on the sidewalk, kids walk to the elementary school and the park. About a year ago the “public safety” brain raised the speed limit from 25 mph to 30 mph. Mr. Schooley told me that since most of the people were driving OVER the speed limit it just made sense to raise it. HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO SUCH A STUPID COMMENT??? I asked him if since I needed money would it then be okay if I robbed a bank, this was using the same logic he applied to this situation.

I did some research on his logic and yes, several brainiacs decided that if the bulk of driver’s in an area were habitually driving over the speed limit, you raise the speed limit. But the study went on to say that you then needed to provide greater police patrol to ensure that the law-breakers stayed within the new speed limit and did not go over it. This patrol needed to last for up to a year for the change in speed limit to be effective. Of course that was not done in this situation. We now have folks driving 50 mph in what should be a 25 mph zone.

I call the police public safety office all the time asking for patrol out here, they come and stop, at the most 2 cars and then we don’t see them again for a few weeks. It has really gotten exciting now that we have 3 bars that dump the drunks into my residential area!!!! Why don’t we get more cooperation from “law enforcement?” The proverbial manpower shortage. But the City of Lenexa is building a massive “new downtown” area. They don’t like the historic downtown that is quaint and wonderful so they are building a new downtown. This will bring about an increase in shoplifting, the usual crimes in the parking lot, etc. And we don’t have enough law enforcement to deal with what already exists in the city.

But, any time of day or night you can drive on the new Prairie Star Parkway Bridge and find at least 2 cops sitting there. Mind you this is a park with walking trails in a wide-open space. There is a residential area a bit further up the road and my assumption is that since these homes are worth much more than those of use here in Old Town Lenexa, they get all of the law enforcement while us Old Towner’s must fend for ourselves.

Due to the traffic noise, speeding, near hits on children and carbon monoxide. I finally plowed under my massive garden in the backyard. It had become so stressful for me to go out there and work in the yard that this Spring I tilled it all under. This garden was my therapy in my recovery from back surgery, it brought be back from the brink of suicide but thank you heartless City of Lenexa, it’s gone. I did leave my heirloom roses and I planted some lavender plants but there is enough room for hubby to run the tiller instead of me sitting out there and weeding away my problems.

Why is it that those who put “Pro Life” stickers in their vehicles usually don’t have their living, breathing children restrained in the car and are acting like idiots on the road? Are their interests only with fetal tissue or in telling other women what they should do with their uterus? I recently saw a “Pro Life” stickered vehicle driven by a female, child unrestrained in the front seat, lady on the cell phone, hauling balls down the road in a 40 mph zone. She failed to see that the car in front of her had stopped to make a turn… until the last minute. She tried to move over to my lane but I was there. She put her brakes on but it was to late. She whapped that car with great force. I pulled over and went to check on the little boy, who was bleeding from a gash in his forehead (because he had no seatbelt on) mom noticed this and reached over and buckled him in. I stayed until the Police got there and told them what I say, lady on phone, CHILD UNRESTRAINED, mom buckled him in after the accident. They did a sobriety test on her and she failed. So off to jail for her. “Pro Life”, she could have killed her baby because she was drunk and had some really important phone call to make and also couldn’t take the time to buckle her child in the seat. He was actually small enough where he needed a booster or car seat.

The last straw was toward the end of the school year last year when several kids were walking home from school. I was out back weeding and a bitch on her cell phone ran up on the curb right at this group of kids. It scared the crap out of them and me. One of the little boys fell down and started crying. Did this loon stop? Of course not. I went running over to them to make sure that they were all okay and this baby was trembling so bad that his teeth were chattering. I made sure that they were okay, got them to sit down for a minute and got them a coke to drink. After a bit they were calm enough to go on their way, I offered to drive them home but they refused (smart kids). I told the oldest girl to have her mom call me, which she did. I told her what happened and gave her the license plate number for the car. She went up to file a complaint on the driver but the Lenexa Police Dept. would not take a report from her since no one was hurt. I guess that you have to kill someone around here before anything is done.

Actually, that brings to mind a conversation I had some years ago with a City Council person concerning the problem. He told me that it would take a disaster before anything would be done on Pflumm Road. Several of us want them to put in a Round-A-Bout, they have put them on several streets around here with wonderful results.

But Lenexa’s leadership is not proactive.

I have flooding in my backyard due to a lack of a storm drain on a cul-de-sac behind my house. My yard catches the overflow from the Catholic School parking lot, the old Catholic Church, a city block that ends in a cul-de-sac and my side of the neighborhood. I have fought them on this for 6 years and finally I was told that nothing would be done until my house flooded. Lenexa makes a big to do about their Rain to Recreation program, how progressive they are in storm drainage solutions and creating lakes to diminish runoff, etc. But my backyard is a health hazard due to the chemicals from all of the parking lots and streets not to mention the chemicals that people put on their yards. After a heavy rain we cannot go into the backyard due to the mosquitoes and stench from the standing water. The expense for us to resolve the problem is much more than we can afford. They have even assessed an additional tax on purchases to be applied toward their wonderfully amazing bullshit program. I do not shop in Lenexa. I refuse to pay this tax, as it does not benefit me. The city has even won awards and recognitions for this program but they are lacking in the basic storm drainage systems.

Enough of this rant. I am just fed up with the whole thing. The “It’s all about me” attitude that people have. Driving your earth killing SUV’s, driving like you are the only person on the road and the lack of common courtesy.

I believe in Karma - Karma simply deals with what is. The effects of all deeds actively create past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain and joy it brings to others. Karma extends through one's present life and all past and future lives as well. As well as the Rule of 3, everything you put out there will come back to you threefold, whether it be good or evil. If you live your life everyday with these ideologies in mind it could change the way you do numerous things…. Including driving your car.

Dog the Bounty Hunter Fan

I am a huge fan of the A&E show Dog the Bounty Hunter. For me the main appeal of the program is the sincere concern that Duane "Dog" Chapman shows for the folks that he picks up. He believes that everyone deserves a second chance and that is what he tries to pass on to these people.

Dog was responsible for the capture and later arrest in Mexico of Andrew Luster, the grandson of Max Factor, about 3 years ago. Luster was convicted of brutally raping over 80 women. He was convicted in absentia (he wasn't present for the conviction) because he fled the country during his trial. I found a website that said Luster wasn't guilty.... even though he video taped the rapes showing the women as drugged, non-willing participants and from what I understand he taped some of the more brutal scenes of his acts.

Anyway, Dog found the guy, he was brought back to the US and sentenced to 124 years.

Now, 3 years later, Dog and his assistants are arrested by U.S. Marshall's on warrants from Mexico charged with conspiracy and illegal detention. What it comes down to is that there are no extraditions out of Mexico!!!!!

How many women did this kook Luster rape while he was down there? After Dog found him and his hotel room was searched, the authorities found a notebook with a list of witnesses at his trial that he was 'going to get even with.' So if Dog had not found this man he would have come back to the U.S. and possibly killed innocent people.... and now Dog is the bad guy. I read an article that said the FBI was right behind Dog, it seems like the FBI is always a day late and a dollar short.

Dog did do some time after he picked Luster up 3 years ago down in Mexico, he had to bond out of jail and was told that he did not need to worry about any of this that it would not affect him unless he came back into Mexico.


This infuriates me. I feel pretty certain that the bad guys know this information and run to Mexico knowing that they cannot be brought back to the U.S. and held responsible for their actions.

With all of the current hoopla over illegal immigrants from Mexico, educating their children and NAFTA our Presidential Administration needs to get involved in this and tell Mexico to kiss our ass.

This is just irresponsible. From this date forward I will not knowingly purchase any item that I know has been made in Mexico nor will I do business with any company with offices in Mexico. I see this as aiding and abetting in a crime and I will not have any part of it.

I am going to contact my Congress people and ask them to discuss Dog's plight with the Congress person from Hawaii to see what can be done to help out this compassionate man and his associates.

Here are a couple of links so that you can get some background on the case and you really need to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter to see for yourself the good that one person can do.

http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=22&art_id=qw1158398821595W643
http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/06/18/luster/

My Soul Aches

Why do amazingly good people have to die senselessly?!?!?!

Especially due to "hospital error"?

Do we sit back and accept this senseless death and if we decide to fight back, what do you really get in the end except reliving the horror, loads of stress, tons of lies and no one accepting responsibility.... and you are still missing this one very important human being in your life and in this world.

Tonight we buried an amazing 54 year-young man. He went into Olathe (Kansas) Medical Center for a knee replacement surgery early last week and passed away Sunday afternoon. He had been up walking around after the surgery, then the "nurses" found him wandering around "confused" so they put him back to bed.... with no monitors. At some point they returned to check on him and he had coded, it took them 17 minutes to bring him back. He went into a coma and never came out.

Joe and my hubby had been friends since high school but I have only known him for 20 years. Joe was a Vietnam Veteran, he was a musician who could play any instrument including the sitar. He owned and rode a Norton Commodore which he bought in 1971, it is bright yellow. He could make wonderful creations from stained glass and I know a little known secret about him.... he was also a weaver. He was a man of many talents and few words. He was a gentle soul but when many first met him they were often intimidated by him appearance. He leaves an adoring wife and soul-mate of 29 years.

My life and that of the many people who know and love him will be a little less full with his passing. He surrounded himself with only folks he truly enjoyed and I feel very privileged to have been counted among them.

I will cherish the time that he was with us and a pox on those that did this to such an amazing soul.

Parenting Saga Part 2....

The mom had called my daughter and told her that his problems were because of her. Now if this isn't a classic case of someone not being able to assume responsibility for their actions... I don't know what is. And because of this fact the doctor's had recommended that the two of them no longer see each other.

I thought this sounded a little off in left field so I called the hospital to hear it for myself and while I had the nurse on the phone I informed her of the mom's alcoholism, addiction to gambling and pedopholia (when she was a school teacher, and married, in Nebraska she slept with one of her students. She later married him and he is now the step-father). She was not charged but did lose her teaching license. I also informed her of other facts that I am aware of after spending so much time with this young man.

As expected, the MD did not say that the kids needed to part ways, actually my daughter is one of the positive influences in his life as is my family and he encouraged interaction with us.

Of course the mom heard about my phone call and called me wanting to know why I butted in. I informed her that I did not feel that she would provide the doctor's with all of the information they would need and I did not think that they had said what she claimed. All in all I think that we had a good and productive conversation ... at the time, but I now think the woman has bad issues.

He was released from the hospital on Tuesday and was allowed to come over to my house and spend 2 hours with my daughter. When my daughter took him home after the two hour visit, mom and step-dad were at the bar. Later that night he later called us in tears and said that he was really depressed being at home. I offered some coping skills and told him that we would come get him the next day and we would talk to mom about him staying with us. But she has not let him talk to my daughter or see her since then.

They are supposed to be getting family counseling but the mother told me that she could not afford it so they were not going to follow through with it. I am heart-broken and very worried.

Do I call his father? Do I call child protective services? Do I leave it alone? There are 3 other children in the home ages 7 - 14.

This is one of the major flaws with the foster care system. You take the child(ren) out of the broken home, give them counseling, fix them, heal their wounds and then send them back into the broken and messed up home. Then everyone is surprised when a child turns up dead or severely beaten. It is our job as "the village" to do all that we can do when we know that a bad situation is going on that involves a child.

I think that the mom has no power over her own life but she can exert some power over her son and that is exactly what she is doing. But we all have our breaking points. Mom has taken away his support system, my daughter and my family.... so how quickly will he reach that breaking point and how bad will it be.

What's Up With Parent's?!?!?!?

There is a horrible trend... I guess it is a trend since it seems to be occuring frequently.

Parent's get fed up with their teens and either A) send them to live with someone else or B) have them committed to an institution of some sort.

I admit, it is not easy being the parent to a teenager, I have raised one successfully and now I am on #2. The emotions are high, the backtalk is neverending, the stress can be almost unbearable but, it passes. There are good days mixed in with the not so good days. And they are our children, we made them this way. It has also been scientifically proven that the teen brain is not developed in some areas, that it actually doesn't develope in these areas until around age 19 or 20. One of these undeveloped sections of the brain is the ability to think long term, to look beyond today at how a set of circumstances or choices will affect them tomorrow.

But you do not send your children away to someone else!!!!! You tough it out with them. Last week my daughter's boyfriends' family placed him in a Psychiatric Hospital. I have known this boy for 2 years, I spend approx. 4 hours a day with him. He is a wonderful TEENAGE boy. He is talented, smart, funny and intuitive. His family is screwed up beyond belief but he is a great young man. But his mother is tired of parenting and she doesn't want Dad to have the kids so this was her answer.

I called the hospital where he is a patient and told them what I know of his family;
Mom was a teacher and messed around with a student, she is now married to him
Mom is an admitted alcoholic
Mom also has a gambling problem
Mom is never at home and she leaves the 8 year old home alone.... often
The family is supposed to be in counseling per a court order, but they do not go

Of course the hospital did not have this information, I figured that the info they would have would be very one-sided and probably not in the favor of the teen. I also told them that he would be welcome to move in with us. This way there are other options.

My daughter has been beside herself with worry over this as have we. Mom will not take him out "until he has learned a lesson." Of course the facility will keep him as long as they can, they are paying cash for his stay. They did come up with a diagnosis of depression.... well no s*%#&@, I would be surprised if he wasn't depressed.

My oldest daughter works part-time at an institution for emotionally disturbed teens and she said that 90% of the teen resident's have a diagnosis of "normal behaviour for age." And upon reading the charts it is basically that the parent(s) were just tired of their behaviour.... which was normal.

I know another person who uses the local County run temporary home for juvenile offender's (TLC of Johnson County) as her babysitter. Whenever she gets fed up she sends her boy to this facility where we (the tax payor's) foot the bill for his care so she doesn't have to be around him for a few weeks. They get him to school, entertain him, feed him and clothe him. Then when she is rested up.... he goes back home.

If a child shows a lack of respect, doesn't do their chores, smokes, breaks curfew, etc. you need to look at yourself. YOU were the one that taught them to behave in this way. YOU as the parent have the sole job of teaching your children to follow the rules, show respect for themselves and others and to be contributing member's of society. So when they don't do these things it is your fault... not theirs, so why send them away. You need to tough it out together.

I started instilling these values and norms in my children from the second they began socializing with others. I don't buy the "single parent" crap.... I was a single parent, I was also a teen mother, 17 to be exact. But I managed to work, go to school and raise my daughter without help from my family, they were in SE Asia at the time. With my youngest child, I worked, got my BS degree, volunteered for 2 organizations and raised my 2 girls. This time I was married and he was a great help but I can't say it was any easier.

There is just something so wrong about this whole thing. The foster care system is to the exploding point. There are more children waiting to be adopted than there are families. And now we have children being sent away from home because they don't meet the expectations of the people who raised them.

People do the same thing with dogs but you hear more of a fuss being made about that than you do when children are involved. I do believe in Karma... what goes around comes around, everything you put out there whether good or bad comes back to you threefold. So I know that these parent's will get it in the long term but only after they have severly damaged their flesh and blood.

I Am Exhausted

My brain is mush. My body feels like lead. My arms and legs have ceased to function. I'm not even sure what day it is.

I am keeping my 5 year-old granddaughter while my daughter is on vacation. She has been here since Tuesday night.

She is a good child, she minds and is not a problem other than she is a very busy 5 year-old. I on the other hand, am not used to having a wee one around. Why don't kids walk? They run everywhere. If they aren't running they are skipping or hopping.

I work from home so my days are pretty well laid back and easy. I work until 1 a.m., sleep till 8:30 a.m., drink coffee and read the newspaper for a bit, do my yoga, walk the dogs and then start my day.

Not so the last couple of days. I hit the ground running at 6:30 a.m. and this is after sharing a bed with her all night. She sleeps like a lamb while I listen for her every breathe which means that I sleep for about 4 hours.

They eat so much at this age. I spent $106 at the grocery store yesterday on lunchables and gobs of junk food. I know, they aren't supposed to eat this stuff but hey, I'm Granny, and it's okay for a few days. She can go back to eggplant and tofu when she goes back home. Yes, my daughter feeds her these things and she happily eats them. I feed her mac and cheees from a box and ramen noodles. Right now she is sitting with a bag of Cheetos and a glass of milk and it is only 10:00 a.m. For breakfast we both had chocolate fudge pop tarts, she had milk and I had coffee through an IV.

I have raised 2 children and fostered an infant for a year and don't remember being this worn out but of course that was several years ago. I am 46 and my youngest daughter will be 18 in a few weeks.

I wouldn't have it any other way. I need a nap..... that's one thing they don't do at 5 years-old.